Our Rocky Start…

Burning out at the end of September, after the home show, and breaking my hand at the end of October were just the signs I needed from the universe {lol} to slow me down… I had plans for November to instruct in home Christmas decor FAT Paint workshops, and to refinish all of the furniture that was filling the basement to sell at a pop up shop at the house in early December… By the time early December rolled around my right hand was just coming out of the splint… no November workshops were held and no furniture had been refinished for a December Pop Up Shop…

Instead Pickle and I began to gut the basement, after being in the house for 10 years it was time to finish the basement {OMG why didn’t we finish it years ago!?}  The majority of the to be refinished pieces of furniture were sold off, or donated for others to find on their own treasure hunting adventures… I’ll collect more pieces to relove. The forced rest of burn out and broken hand, and broken hand recovery, was really great… and oddly enough came at a great time… it slowed me down for a smidgen of time before finding out mid November that I was pregnant!

I am now 24 weeks and 6 days and I have only been feeling at ease since week 22… There were just so many weeks of ups and downs until week 22. I found out pretty much as early as you can find out that you’re pregnant and we were ecstatic, but the next day my doctor seemed overly cautious and frankly scared me into thinking that something wasn’t right – that it might just be a chemical pregnancy. I found out on day 28 of my clockwork cycle with an at home test… I was literally just pregnant. My doc sent me for a run of blood tests the following week to track my hcg levels. On the Friday they were 100, on the Monday 261, on the Wednesday 4hundredsomething and on the Friday over 1000… the number was more than doubling every 24 hours so all was progressing as it should!… I sat on the floor in the kitchen and cried when the nurse called with the results on the Friday… relief.

On about Day 6 of Week 6 I was still feeling very cautious but very hopeful. The initial anxiety caused by what seemed to be an overly cautious doctor was still hanging on but I tried not to dwell on it.

I was still quite slowed down throughout much of December as my recently freed right hand wasn’t completely back in action… my body just felt so very tired and I’d been falling asleep on the couch early in the evenings – basically I napped every evening before going to bed.  I hadn’t been hit with wicked morning sickness though, so I felt lucky. I found I would get generally queasy off an on… if my stomach gets overhungry (which it does very quickly now) then I find that it can be hard to eat… I’ve discovered a trick though when I wakeup in the morning… eat a couple dry crackers and it cuts the edge off the hunger queasiness while I get ready for the day…

I didn’t seem to ever have full blown morning sickness… The smell of cold food has always grossed me out and I’ve always had a very keen sense of smell… I mostly found that the first trimester brought with it a general light, all the time, queasiness and fatigue…  After I would get home from work in December I would grab a snack and snuggle under the big duvet comforter on the couch with my Pickle nearby… all is right with the world when I’m snuggled with my love…. I could just be still, chill, nap, and the queasiness would get lighter.

The dating ultrasound…  with the unnecessarily rocky start that I had due to the doctor being overly cautions with my initial hcg level I felt nervous going into this appointment. I just want everything to be okay. I hoped that with each test I would be able to let go of some of the doubt… I will always be in a state of waiting to confirm that everything is okay at the next test and the next. So for the test I worked on focusing on our weekend trip to Banff, for Chris’s Christmas Party, that we would be leaving for right after the appointment!

The dating ultrasound went great – all looked well and put my EDD at July 31 – four days later than initial calculations indicated… Banff was beautiful! A winter wonderland.

I ended up getting a stomach flu after we got back from Banff and was knocked out hard for a couple days… after this stomach bug beat me up “Morning Sickness” seemed to have kicked in a little harder but in all honesty it wasn’t that bad… I just felt more queasy all of the time.

On December 23rd the day of our annual Christmas Party I ended up in Emergency for some bleeding – we were scared to death… I got in and saw the OB that I’d seen two years previous when I had a cyst rupture… she was really great.  She said that things looked okay and that I was to come back the following day for an ultrasound and to enjoy our party that evening. The bleeding had stopped.  It was hard to relax and enjoy the party but I tried. We went back to the hospital on Christmas Eve for the ultrasound and it was confirmed that all was well… everything looked okay! Christmas was lovely and quiet, just the two of us…well three of us..  we were a little emotionally exhausted so we used the down time to rest as much as possible.

Just over 11 weeks… regular checkup with my dr… She said I could hear the heartbeat! I thought this would just be a quick checkup appointment!… I was so excited.. I recorded the heartbeat to send to Chris… he didn’t come to the appointment because I thought it was just a quick check in.  I was so excited after hearing babes little ticker that when I was out running some errands I popped into GAP and found some adorable babe clothes to put away for next fall and Christmas 🙂 And Michaels had a smoking deal on baskets so I picked some up for the nursery.

12 weeks 3 days screening ultrasound… everything on the ultrasound looked great but a protein in the bloodwork portion of the screen put babe as high risk… This wasn’t diagnostic but still we were devastated… worried… anxious… The delivery of the information was very grave and came along with apologies… and they didn’t charge us for our disk of images from the ultrasound which made it all seem just that much worse.  We booked the CVS appointment immediately, to follow up with a diagnostic test, and began the wait for the appointment the following week. We did stop in to see our family Dr to talk about the screen results and what it all meant… and then we took the afternoon after the screening ultrasound off from work and laid on the couch and tried our best to turn off our brains, check out, and watch movies… I went to work the next day but I wasn’t fit to be there. I spent the next number of weeks at work welled up fighting back tears.

13 weeks 3 days CVS appointment… ultrasound check complete… heartbeat good, everything looks good… Dr arrives to do the procedure and double checks everything himself via ultrasound then starts to get things underway… only they couldn’t complete the CVS procedure through the abdomen as the placenta is posterior, and then they couldn’t complete the test internally as I have a fibroid that had grown and misaligned the route… they just couldn’t make the angle to get the sample required. The next test would be the amniocentesis and it couldn’t be done for two weeks.

We booked the amniocentesis immediately… the two week wait began… The days following the CVS appointment I was bluer than blue. I was too nervous again and fearful to be excited about being pregnant…  Chris constantly worked at cheering me up with his hopeful attitude, reassurance, and love.

Early February at 15 weeks 3 days: Amnio appointment… this was nerve wracking… but it was the day. Chris held my hand and kept me calm. The Dr was incredibly nice and the procedure, surprisingly, went quickly with little to no side effects (other than frazzled nerves). The Dr described the procedure as he was doing it… starting with “you’ll feel a light scratch” which produced in my mind a much better mental image that I had developed independently…  we had the tech turn off the large ultrasound screen on the wall as seeing a needle enter into my uterus through my abdomen wasn’t something I was sure that I could handle… “halfway through”… “we’re done”… The Dr even showed us the tube of amniotic fluid that he had obtained… neat but ew but neat… I rested all weekend.

16 weeks… Monday, all day, I was on edge just waiting for the phone to ring… nothing all day. I could hardly focus at work… Pickle and I were sitting on the couch watching whatever we could find to distract our frazzled brains after the work day… then the phone rang… it was almost 6pm and it was the Family Dr calling… She received the results before the clinic who had done the procedure had called… she mentioned that she knows these things are hard to wait for so wanted to call me as soon as she could with the results.  The results came back and everything was okay with the babe! I made her confirm what she said… and then she let us know that we’re having a BOY!  Pickle hopped up from the couch, danced a jig, and teared up… I just sat there… I couldn’t cry… I was all cried out from the anxiety since week 12… but I could breath again. I felt lighter. And I also finally felt like making our official announcement with a little gentle nudge and reassurance from Pickle.

I did still have a concern past this test… the low pregnancy associated plasma protein detected in screen has been linked to issues in pregnancy such as growth restriction of the babe and high blood pressure for the mama… For the love of all that is sacred don’t google low papp-a if you have it… just talk to your Dr. because they know you, they know your case, and they will likely ease your mind about the whole situation. I made the mistake of googling and sent myself into a panic… a couple times… so we chatted with our family Doc and she made me feel much less panicky, but the general concern was still there in my mind.

Early in March we started looking around for the serious things… stroller and car seat… and we picked them up!… I still felt nervous about jumping in and getting these things (so early? but really was it early?) but Chris’s reassurance that everything would be fine calmed the ol nerves.

Week 22 doppler scan at the end of March to check the uterine artery… Waiting until 22 weeks was recommended as everything would be bigger and easier to see… The MFM Clinic had a new machine which helped to distract me from my nerves and gave us an incredible look at our sweet babes face! MIND BLOWN! It looks like a photograph of his darling little face… check out that sweet itty bitty button nose!

The uterine artery doppler checks the flow of blood between mother and babe… I was concerned that the placenta wasn’t functioning properly as potentially indicated by the low papp-a. After the scan they put us in a room where the Dr would come and chat with us about the results… He had good and reassuring news for us! The uterine artery doppler looked great! The placenta was functioning as it should, though we do have marginal insertion of the umbilical cord (meaning its attached near the edge of the placenta and not at the centre as is the typical connection point)… so we are relieve that it is functioning well, but with a small size of nerves though the Dr’s have not shown concern about the connection as things look to be functioning as they should… Babe was still measuring a little small but he had grown consistently since the last scan, which is good but it was recommended that we return in 3-4 weeks for another ultrasound to monitor the babes growth.  Our Family Dr had given us the heads up that we may be up for monthly scans as a result of the low papp-a… Monthly ultrasounds!? I don’t mind one bit… that just means we get to see our baby bear’s progress every couple of weeks!

Now I’m finally feeling like I can be excited, without fear, and we’ve been picking up some darling things for babe!

Just before I hit 27 weeks I’ll be switching over from our Family Doc to the incredible OB Dr. LeJour! I never did receive a call in regards to a mid wife after applying, though I hounded the nearest practice for weeks after I’d applied… BUT I have an incredible OB, and now we also have an incredible Doula that will be supporting us… Sacred Nest. We’ve signed up for our Birth and Babies class and I’m ferociously working my way through The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and Sweet Sleep, two great books from a dear friend.

Looking back now over the past 24 weeks I do feel sad about the rocky start and I wish I could have let go and enjoyed that early time more… but I was just so afraid. Until I had results saying all was going well I just couldn’t relax. I am so grateful that we’re past what has been one of the scariest chunks of time in our lives back to the most exciting!… Now I’ll be making up for that lost time savouring every little kick and new experience, and sharing about it along the way.

xx

Lacey

6 Responses to Our Rocky Start…

  1. Korri Cole says:

    Congratulations Lacey, this will be the best time of your life. Enjoy as they grow up too fast.

  2. Melissa says:

    Lacey!!! I am so excited and happy for you! Congrats!!!!! I had 3 rocky pregnancies with 2 beautiful grown adults now. Enjoy every minute because it goes by quickly. 🙂 Can’t wait to see more photos. 🙂 Melissa

  3. Megan Courtney says:

    Oh Lacey…..sending you love and huggles after the emotional roller coaster last few months. I didn’t tear up until I saw the tiny chucks. gutted! Mini Pickle is lucky to have you both as parents. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

    Megan C(W/G) 😉

    • Lacey Haskell says:

      OMG! Megan C(W/G) I seriously go through all of your last names whenever I think of you! I love that you signed with all your initials! <3 Thanks you for sending us your love! I'm finally feeling like I can be more excited than nervous - such a good feeling! All the little kicks and thumps - he's a busy baby!

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